“Oh, honey, it’s all right. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I am sure you will find somebody.”
Does this sound familiar? Every well-wisher you have ever had will say something along the lines of this to comfort you as soon as you blurt out that you’re single.
There are so many things wrong with how people perceive relationships and the lack thereof. You may not be immune to the beliefs society has thrust upon you growing up. You may think that it’s ridiculous when I tell you that being single is AWESOME.
Whether you have just got out of a relationship or have never been in one, check out these 11 reasons to choose single-hood over relationships any day.
1. It’s Only Natural
Let’s get a little perspective here. Why does being single feel so bad? Were you not single during the former years of your life?
When you look back on it, as a child, you didn’t really worry about having a significant other. No one does. And childhood is one of the most genuinely happy chapters in a man’s life.
You didn’t feel this strong need to share your life with someone. Life was simple because you didn’t have responsibilities. You took each day as it came. didn’t overthink it. simply content with having your friends and family around.
This is our exhibit A. Falling in love is not some innate need we are biologically engineered to feel. If you could live out your happiest days just by yourself, trust me, you can do it again.
2. The Happily Ever After is a Myth
The rom-coms, the young adult novels, the dating sites – they’ve all been lying to you.
There’s no happily ever after.
Let me explain why. In case you haven’t already noticed, there are ups and downs in life. Even the happiest people you know have regrets, problems and longings. It’s all part of the experience.
It’s on us to make our time on this earth enjoyable. There’s no divine intervention. No one singular thing that can quench all your desires at once. Even if you are with a loving partner, you are going to be unhappy when you don’t get a promotion. You’re going to be unhappy when your mother falls sick.
We have endless wants. So we technically can’t have it all. It’s a wild goose chase!
We can’t wait around for someone else to bring happiness into our lives. Make yourself happy in the present. Don’t let the good times pass you by.
3. Emotional Independence
In codependent relationships, people eventually get so invested that their partners’ words and actions impact their sense of well-being in an intense way.
A kiss from their partner can make their day. A withdrawal of attention can make them hurt.
It’s like letting your partner take the wheel. They have the most control over your emotions.
Of course, as humans, we are going to have cognitive responses to external stimuli. But emotional codependence is as unhealthy for relationships as it is for individuals. You should be in charge of your own emotions. After all, no one else knows you the way you do.
When you are single, no one else can push your buttons. You have the opportunity to regain the emotional independence you lost to your ex or an unrequited love.
4. No Compromises
When two individuals become part of a couple, each of them has to make compromises in order to sustain the union. It’s natural to have conflicts when two different people function as a couple.
You want to have a night out with your friends. Your partner wants to go to a movie together.
What do you do? One of you compromises.
But when you’re single, you don’t have to adjust your whims and wishes according to that of your partner’s. You make all the decisions. You can unapologetically follow your heart.
5. It’s Better to be Alone than with the Wrong Person
If your partner is constantly bringing you down, why should you be with them? It’s important to identify and get rid of harmful, abusive or simply incompatible partners.
If you and your partner are driving each other crazy, you shouldn’t be together. By prolonging a bad relationship, you are robbing both yourself and your partner of a better match.
6. More ‘ME Time’
Out of all the perks of being single, this is one the most obvious. When you are single, you don’t have to take huge chunks out of time to nurture a relationship. You have more free time to yourself. You are better rested.
Some alone time goes a long way. You can pick up a hobby that you neglected during your relationship. The key to being happy alone is to learn to enjoy your own company.
7. The Big Picture
To see the big picture, you have to be at a distance from where the whole thing is visually accessible. The big picture is a metaphor for a more complete version of truth.
When you are in a relationship, your judgement is clouded with various ranges of emotions. Just like how your vision is restricted to your surroundings, when you are inside the picture.
Flying solo, you get to disintegrate yourself from the distractions and have a clear view of the reality. This helps you get a fresh perspective on life, elevating your personal growth.
8. Having Options
Relationships and sexuality are two different things. They can co-exist. But that doesn’t mean that one cannot exist without the other.
Being single doesn’t mean that you have to go celibate. When you are not committed to one person, you have the option to meet many.
You can play the field. Explore your options. Find out what kind of people you click with. Or just be spontaneous; see where it takes you. All of these experiences, they’re all up for grabs, really. No one is holding you back.
9. Cutting Expenses
Let’s not kid ourselves. Relationships are expensive. Unless you are a freeloader, you cannot avoid the expenses of dinner dates and birthday presents in a relationship.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Couples who plan to have a family together have mortgages, car installment payments and bills piling up everywhere.
I’m not exaggerating at all when I say that being single will save you a lot of money.
10. Room for Other Meaningful Relationships
When all of your emotional energy isn’t wasted on one person, you have room for other relationships in your life.
Platonic relationships can be meaningful as well. You can reconnect with your friends and make new ones. You can call up your parents to catch up with them. Chat up your gardener. Grab lunch with your coworkers.
Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely.
11. Broadening Your Horizon
Life is a series of experiences. What do you want to experience? What would you like to achieve? Who do you want to be?
Being single gives you the time, resources and insight needed to embark on a soul journey. You’re not limited to other people’s descriptions of you. Your self-worth is not determined by measuring someone else’s romantic interest in you.
If you want to transform your life and make your dreams come true, single life is the best time to start.
12. To Wrap it Up (Bonus)
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting we turn to selective breeding and ban relationships worldwide. No. Having healthy relationships has changed many lives for the better.
The problem is that our society glorifies and romanticizes relationships, even the toxic ones. If you are not in a relationship, it’s not the end of the world. Being single has many evident upsides that get consciously overlooked.
It’s important to be able to distinguish disastrous relationships from constructive ones. If you ever find yourself stuck in a bad relationship, don’t be afraid to get out. The single life will await you with all its perks.